I totally pulled a George R.R. Martin on this beezy and have been MIA the past few days — apologies! I’ve been wracking my brain for new topics, and Matt threw a monkeywrench in the works when he DEMANDED I change my tune on dis blob.
During a beautiful sunny afternoon a few weekends ago, we were happily skipping along after a day at the Ulster Museum. Apropos of nothing, Matt suddenly burst out: “EVERYTHING ON YOUR BLOG IS NEGATIVE! YOU’RE SKEWING PEOPLE’S PERCEPTIONS. WRITE SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT NI OR I’LL KNOCK YOUR MELT IN.”
Jokes on that last bit! But I realized he was probably right. I’ve been taking the piss out of NI too much lately, and this is basically Matt’s reaction to every post:
The truth is a terrible, beautiful thing. So how about some happier tidbits? Let me fill you in on the best part about living here, the #1 perk! Surely you already know? That’s right, baby — SOCIALIZED MEDICINE. NHS 4 LYFE!!1!1!!
On a scale of 0 to America, how awesome is NHS? Way up there. 9.95.
Matt always loses it at the abstract thought of people criticizing the NHS. “YOU DON’T LIKE IT? THEN PAY FOR IT!” he screams furiously to no one. LOL, he has a point though! You can’t argue with the price tag. Plus, if you want to rise above the great unwashed masses, you have the option to go private and pay mad scrilla for diamond-studded colostomy bags, etc.
I’ve only had good experiences with the NHS since coming here (except for that one time a nurse drew blood without sanitizing my skin, but who cares!). So last week, I had to have an endoscopy due to chest spasms while swallowing. I was dreading it, but my Scottish-Italian cheapskate heart leapt with joy at the thought of a freebie. Who knows what it would have cost back home? The novelty of a free invasive procedure was enough motivation for me to face my fears and go for it.
It was done at the Ulster Hospital, and the doctors were really caring and attentive. Even so, though, the endo was lot harder than I thought it would be (probs cause I refused the sedative like a FOOL).
So what’s the final verdict on NHS? You already know! 10/10 would recommend.
“But it would never work in ‘Murica!” you protest. “Obummer already took my freedom — my freedom to die penniless and covered in gangrene!”
Never change, America. And by that I mean you need a total system overhaul. NI isn’t stuntin with this bizznazz. You’ve gotta up your game.
SEE MATT I WROTE SOMETHING NICE OK
Sunshine and rainbows,